Is it really 2024? I have heard it said that as you grow older the years go by faster. This is definitely true for me. I am actually going to turn 70 this year. That is seven decades! It has been some time since I last posted on here and while there are a lot of things I could talk about that have happened or that are important to me; I feel compelled to start with the most important factor in my life. My faith in God.
He truly is a Father to me. I do not think I have fully understood what all that means. My birth father died when he was thirty and I think I was the age of two. I really do not remember anything about him. The stepfather who was with me most of my growing years through school was more of just another person in my life. We never really grew that close and after my mother and him had five other children he spent most of his time and energy as a father with them. They were his children. My older brother and I were hers. He eventually died of cancer when I was in college. I visited him when he was in the hospital on the last days of his life. He was certainly a different person. This six foot four man was nothing but skin and bones. I wept over him. No one deserved to die like this.
This is why I struggle trying to understand the role of a father. I am a father of a daughter, Naomi, and I was not the type of father that she deserved. I have five stepchildren although most of them lived with their birth father. We get along but never really have had a close attachment that a father would have with his children.
I speak to my heavenly father on a daily basis. I tell Him often that I am thankful for His patience with me in all of my rebellious moments. I still have them. My heavenly Father has rescued me from my disastrous decisions so many times. Oh, I have been disciplined, in a manner that only He can. The realization that God actually chose to adopt me. The Bible says that even in my mother’s womb He knew me. The Bible also says that I was beautifully and wonderfully made. There are frequent times where I certainly do not feel I so wonderful. Why did He adopt me? Then, not only did He adopt me, but He sent His only true son Jesus to earth to live, walk and experience all of what being a human is about; and then Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice. He offered Himself as a sacrifice for me. For me! He allowed His body to suffer so much, and His blood was shed for my sins. He died for me. I honestly am not sure I would have the courage to do all of this. He knew in advance, because He was from God, that all of this would happen. So yes, I speak to God frequently because He has already done so much for me. I am still learning the depth of His love. It is truly incomprehensible.
Is this selfish of me? I know I struggle with pride and selfishness. God knows this better than I, and yet, He still loves me and through His Spirit within me He helps me through each day. I enjoy reading the Bible every day. I read from the Old Testament in the morning and the New Testament at night. If I get too busy and miss my time, I know it and I feel like God, through His Spirit, is reminding me. “You missed your time reading in the Bible my son.” “I am sorry Father.” I say that a lot. I am sorry. He does not force me to say it, but I say it because I really am.
Yes, it is nice having God as my father. I know some day I will have the opportunity to be with Him in glory. I will be with Jesus and the apostles and so many others from the Bible. I will get to see old friends who have passed on already. I am hoping that Naomi will join me as well. This is why my faith is so important and a priority in my life. God adopted me and has done so much for me already. I strive to be more like Jesus. I want my Father to be honored through my life. I want others to understand that Jesus died for them as well. I want them to be a part of Gods family.
